catalogosphere:

An old Italian gentleman lived alone in New  Jersey .  He wanted to plant his annual tomato garden, but it was very difficult work, as the ground was hard.  His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament: 

 Dear Vincent,  I am feeling pretty sad because it looks like I won’t be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I’m just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. I know if you were here my troubles would be over. I know you would be happy to dig the plot for me, like in the old days.  Love,  Papa  

A few days later he received a letter from his son. 

Dear Papa,   Don’t dig up that garden. That’ s where the bodies are buried.  Love,  Vinnie

At 4 a.m. The next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left.  That same day the old man received another letter from his son.  

Dear Papa,  Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now.  That’s the best I could do under the circumstances.  Love you, Vinnie

liveloveinspire:

“A while back, at the entrance of a gym, there was a picture of a very thin and beautiful woman. The caption was “This summer, do you want to be a mermaid or a whale?”

The story goes, a woman (of clothing size unknown) answered the following way:

“Dear people, whales are always surrounded by friends (dolphins, seals, curious humans), they are sexually active and raise their children with great tenderness.
They entertain like crazy with dolphins and eat lots of prawns. They swim all day and travel to fantastic places like Patagonia, the Barents Sea or the coral reefs of Polynesia.
They sing incredibly well and sometimes even are on cds. They are impressive and dearly loved animals, which everyone defend and admires.

Mermaids do not exist.

But if they existed, they would line up to see a psychologist because of a problem of split personality: woman or fish?
They would have no sex life and could not bear children.
Yes, they would be lovely, but lonely and sad.
And, who wants a girl that smells like fish by his side?

Without a doubt, I’d rather be a whale.

At a time when the media tells us that only thin is beautiful, I prefer to eat ice cream with my kids, to have dinner with my husband, to eat and drink and have fun with my friends.

We women, we gain weight because we accumulate so much wisdom and knowledge that there isn’t enough space in our heads, and it spreads all over our bodies.
We are not fat, we are greatly cultivated.
Every time I see my curves in the mirror, I tell myself: ‘How amazing am I ?!’ “

a song that has been stuck in my mind for the last week or so.

When you’re stressed you eat ice cream, cake, chocolate, and sweets. Why? Because STRESSED spelt backwards spells DESSERTS.”

its says it all

to be honest, i don’t remember, and never thought about it. The earliest i can remember or want to remember is by age 3, the first house that i grew up and in which i almost drown. :D